PHOTO PROMPT © Yarnspinnerr
“This must be it.”
“Can’t be… the place is crawling!”
“Well, we’ve hobbled back and forth… it’s the only place matching the description.”
“God! Why did we ever come here?”
“An act of pure stupidity!”
“Desperation more like!”
“What choice did we have?”
Finding a doorway we cautiously entered the dilapidated building.
The smell of incense greeted us.
A glow emanated from a side room and a feeling of optimism coursed through me.
As we edged inside… he met our gaze… warmth and love poured from his eyes.
My friend turned to me…
“Worth the journey?”
“Yes,” I beamed.
“Oh no, not again.”
“Put the map away, just for now.”
“When I was younger I used to go for drives in the car to try and get lost, just to see where it took me, where I would end up. It was an adventure to see somewhere different, somethings I hadn’t seen before. It was exciting.”
“If you keep using the map or worse still your satnav, looking outside of yourself for directions, you’ll never learn to trust your own guidance system.”
“It’s inbuilt you know, we’ve all got one. No one was left out when they were dishing guidance systems out.”
“But what if we get lost?”
“Well, that’s just another illusion. It is just a state of mind. We cannot get lost. We just think we can or we just think we are.”
“That’s stupid, if I am not familiar with my surroundings and don’t know which way to turn that’s lost in my book.”
“I know that it can seem that way. But that’s because we have a tendency to identify with things, people, places outside of us. When we make a connection with these it makes us feel secure, stable. Generally the familiarity blocks out any feeling of being lost.”
“I don’t agree with that either! I had a friend who had a great family, really supportive they were and all she forever went on about was how lost and alone she felt. Her familiar surroundings and people didn’t block out her feelings of being lost!”
“Each of us in life walks a unique path, alone. No one can walk it for us. Yet, at the same time we cannot ever be truly alone. We are all connected to one another whether we like it or not. A bit like the cells in our bodies. Each has its own identity but functions as part of the whole.”
“When we look within for that stability, our inner connection, we can still enjoy those connections we perceive as outside of us, but in a more fulfilling way. But when we try to resolve concerns our through our conventional conditioned route, a part of us pulls away from the inner secure complete self and a state of imbalance occurs. This causes an emotional reaction and with that reaction there is then a tendency to seek outside with even more intent to find something, and find it quickly to ease the pain of separation, loneliness, being lost.
“We are lost. But only from ourselves. We are always with ourselves. We cannot not be with ourselves, ever.”
“But I’m frightened, what if there’s something out there I should be aware of that’s not good OR, something, an opportunity that I might miss.”
“Well you’re sure to miss it if you try to engineer it.”
“Just try it, humour me. Put the map down, set off and enjoy sensing where you are going.”
“I always knew you were mad! But you are my treasured friend, I trust you. So just for this journey, I’ll humour you.”
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Journey.”
When I was child of about 3, we lived in a tiny village that had only one shop. It seemed miles from anywhere but my cousin, she lived just around the corner and around the next bend on the same country lane lived Grandma and Grandad. For some reason I wasn’t over keen on Grandad, but I adored my Grandma. She was such a loving person and I really enjoyed being with her. I was allowed to ride my tricycle along the pavement, all on my own to visit them.
It was a delightful place to live, surrounded by wildlife, farms and an abundance of greenery. We took regular walks thoroughly indulging in the effect of the changing seasons. To this day I have a similar passion for nature, the countryside and the seasons.
We would watch the butterflies dance from flower to flower, noting which one it was and if we weren’t sure, we’d look it up in a book when we returned home. We’d breathe in the scents of the blossoms on the hedgerows, trees and the wild flowers in the grass verges. I was renowned for sticking my nose into flowers.
There was always something riveting to watch or exciting to explore. Many of the fields roundabout had small ponds in them. Here we would sit for hours just watching the dragonflies dance from reed to reed, or watch the pond skater insects whizzing over the water’s surface or catch newts with our nets, putting them into a jar so that we could get a better look at them. We would always put them back into the pond before going home. Other times we would keep a watch out for calves or lambs being born, watch the farmer plough a field or bale hay.
Big cousins would come to visit quite regularly, cycling all the way from their village miles away and we would ride our bikes or play ball games and drink cordial, something that was only available when visitors came. We were rarely indoors and my selective memory can only recall rain in April, though we must have had days when it poured.
Then one day, which for me seemed quite out of the blue, we were moving. A giant green lorry with a cavernous space at the back was taking all our belongings and we were going to live somewhere else. I can only remember horror. All the things I would be leaving behind. My Grandma would be miles away, how I would miss my dear loving Grandma. And my cousins, I would have no friends to play with.
When we arrived at our new house, it was on a straight main road and it felt as if it were on another continent. Being a new house it didn’t have the old established gardens around it so it felt barren. The whole place felt empty, the whole area felt empty. Where was the greenery?
There was a big hedge over on the other side of the road and there were some big trees but the cosseted feeling of the old village which just oozed greenery, was non-existent in this strange place.
I was told not to make a fuss, I would make friends. There was a girl next door that I was encouraged to play with, but a part of me didn’t like the feel of her. I started school and began to make some friends but somehow they never felt like the deep comradeship I had had with my cousins. My only saving grace from living in that very empty feeling place was that at the weekends my dad and I would go for long walks along the riverbank or the canal and we would observe all the bounty that nature had to offer. Those days were like heaven on earth.
One of the things that sticks in my mind was the feeling of isolation, I felt as if I was ‘out on my own’ and despite having moved from a verdant green village, I felt separated most strongly from my beloved sea. Now we didn’t live by the sea but we were probably only a couple of miles from the sea as the crow flies and less than an hour away by train in those days and whilst I have no recollection of being at the seaside when the sun went down, I can clearly remember sitting in my bedroom with my head poking through the curtains, watching the sun going down behind the hedgerow across the road and wondering just how many miles away the sea was and how I yearned to be near it. This has stayed with me ever since and must have had such a profound effect on me that I now live right by the sea and would have it no other way.